Another general rant from Lorne.

Amongst all the grief and horror of Haiti, there is a silver lining for us Australians. Hilary Clinton, who was touring the pacific and was about to come to Australia, but had to cancel her trip to go to Haiti. Shame. Predictably, she stumbled her way through a speech on the stricken country. “The people of Haiti have often suffered grief and pain in circumstances such as this, but also joy, so I believe they can pull through this situation”. Joy? After a monumental earthquake, possibly killing in excess of 200,000 people, the people of Haiti are joyous? I feel sorry for them, not only for surviving the horrific earthquake, but then being forced to endure the speeches of this clumsy woman.

However, as I watched TV, more moments of surprise were in store for me on The 7:30 Report. Firstly, Kerry O’Brien was not the host. That will not do. I agree, he needs a holiday once in awhile, but the show should be stopped for that time. It is not The 7:30 Report without Kerry O’Brien; a point that was proved only moments later. As Prince William is coming to Australia, they invited someone who works with the royal family for an interview. He was very British, and was wearing what could only be called a very stylish multicoloured tie. The host then proceeded to embarrass us by asking him stupid gossip questions.

“So do you think Prince William’s girlfriend is the right girl for him? Will he pop the question? Could she be a replacement of Princess Diana?” Why is it, that when a Prince visits our country for the first official time, do we quiz people about his girlfriend? Sure, a question or two could be asked about her, but devoting the entire 7:30 Report to her is a bit off the leash. “Is she suitable for the role of Queen? Does she shower often? How does she like her eggs? Is she good in bed? Why is the earth round? Does a mocco late use full cream or light milk?” The British man at this point started to shake, as the rate of questions was overwhelming. He secretly wondered if he could use his rainbow tie to create a distraction and escape, but fortunately there was no need. The time was up, and she thanked him for his time.

Who wrote the questions that night? It might just be the same person who came up with the new Channel 7 show about airport delays. Now, this might just be me, but airport delays are what most people slot into the category of ‘uninteresting’. Furniture, train timetables and books on botany all fall into this category. So when they announce that their smashing new T.V series is all about people getting angry because their flight is delayed seems a little odd. They try to make it seem exciting, by putting one of the most eccentric men I have seen in my life on the ad, but it doesn’t work. Border Security uses this same tactic, by showing Customs officers firing a machine gun off a boat. At what exactly? Refugees? That might be a slight breach in Rudd’s policy on Asylum Seekers. “Rule 32, section 5. Asylum Seekers are not to be mown down by custom officers wielding machine guns.”

Microsoft is taking an interesting approach to their ads too, with the new ‘I thought of Windows 7’ slogan. They also seem to have a grand total of one ad, entirely based on parental controls. “None of this Social Networking (what an evil mother) for you. Oh yes, and I thought of Windows 7.” If that is the case, then Ozzyfrog has thought of Windows 8. You saw it here first. Goodness, I almost forgot about the Baby Elephant at Melbourne Zoo. The same Baby Elephant that takes up the news headlines for days and days. You would think we’ve never seen one before. I suppose however, it is better than seeing Hilary talk about Haiti.

I should also mention something about the transport situation. Myki has been implemented into trains, as it still doesn’t work reliably on buses and trams. Isn’t that a bit scary? 5 years and 1.3 billion dollars later, it still doesn’t work. Lynne Kosky evidently realised this, and did a runner back to her family. Her replacement is Martin Pakula, so he is our new transport minister. I wish the very best of luck to him. He is most certainly going to need it.